SHPBusters: What is the best type of ice?

What is ice? Ice is defined as frozen water, a brittle, transparent, crystalline solid.

I know what you are thinking, it’s ice no one cares. Well we care. Ice is not something to make you drink cold. It’s so much more than that. Ice can be used in many ways. In a cooler, in a drink, directly in mouth, on a bruise just to say a few. Ice is one of the most versatile things on this planet. This is why we think it is important to know what type of ice you should be getting. You need the good stuff.

Many people have varying opinions on the best type of ice. We, the SHPbusters, have done extensive research on people’s preferences for ice. Some like the basic Safeway bought ice or the ice from trays(these people are stupid). Others prefer the small cylinders which are easy to bite like the ones that come from the cafeteria(kindly intelligent). Another small portion of the population likes some kinky types of ice such as ice balls or various types of molded ice. We think many things go into a person’s preference for the best type of ice such as socioeconomic status, race, religion, mouth size, and of course taste preferences. We have taken all these factors into account and have found the best type of ice for any person. This ice is the cylindrical ice with a hole in the middle.

This ice has many technological advancements for peak performance in all applications. In a drink, it has maximized surface area for a great cool down rate. The melting style also often produces half cylinders which are optimal for chewing. For the other applications, well let’s be honest, those other applications don’t really matter so we are going to keep talking about it in drinks. If you’re at a nice restaurant, you know you’re getting this ice. That makes this ice even better because you know you’re having a good time along with eating some bomb ice. With the holes in the cylinder there is also increased area for water. If you’re buying ice get the ice with the cylinders down the center. You won’t regret it. If you have another type of ice at home, throw that out and give yourself a needed upgrade.

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